A love story
It was love at first sight, I was dazzled by such beauty, culture, pulsating life. No one could take the desire and drive to move to the Marvelous City out of my head. It was something powerful that was pulsing in me. I just knew this was the place where I needed to live. Dad and mom were worried about the decision, since Rio’s “too violent,” trying to convince me of the ease of getting closer, in the city of Campinas or even Ribeirão. My dad even promised me a car. But no, I put it in my head that Rio was my next destination. That at 17 years of age.
I took the entrance exams and passed. I couldn’t be happier. Expectations were racing. From the beginning, I was sure I chose the right degree and profession for my life. The connection with musical learning was powerful, I identified myself with it immediately.
The first impression for a 17-year-old teenager, who had never left her parents’ home, was that of freedom. In fact, the false freedom that we think we have at that age. It was an adventure; music college in Lapa (a bohemian neighborhood), living by myself in the Brazilian sin city, at 17. Rio's bohemian life was contagious to me.
Of course, it didn’t take long for me to start to “get real” and see that not everything is a bed of roses. The hostile reality of the city began to show itself. The naive child from inland São Paulo started to realize that one cannot trust and open up to anyone, not everything they promise and say is true, people are self-serving most of the time. The naughty side of the city began to emerge. From that shock, I went through my first “crisis.”
The search for overcoming led me to learn about the modus operandi that changed my life forever: yoga. In that sense, I am totally grateful for my dark phase. Today I can understand what Prof. Hermógenes (a late Brazilian renowned yogi) had preached: “If you are in crisis, thank it.” It’s from the obstacles that we take the experiences of overcoming and, consequently, maturing.
I lived through false friendships, evictions, false loves, envies. But I think worst of all was the lonely Sundays. Only those who live far from their family, alone, in a typical “every-man-for-himself” city, know the sadness of not having the prospect of lunch at mom’s/grandma’s/aunt’s house. That’s why I say, appreciate your families, those magical Sunday moments. Lord, how I miss having an Aunt Rose here, my dad...
And how about the quest for survival in a violent and expensive city like Rio? Moreover, making a living on music? It’s challenging, incredibly challenging. Hence comes the time to lean on our purpose, our greater cause. When we have a cause, we have no obstacle that prevents us from dreaming.
But Rio, the Marvelous City, also brought me loves, friendships, the love for music and art, the appreciation of family, and most importantly: my personal maturity. I’d not be who I am today if I had stayed in my comfort zone, having that little car, at mommy and daddy’s house, in my native culture. I wouldn’t have known the vibrant culture of Rio, the so many gringos that this city provides us, yoga, Buddhism, Ayurveda, Buddhist nun Coen Roshi, my friends, the loves I lived, the trails, the beaches, the bohemia, the Arts, the high-stakes life,...
Really, Rio, we have a typical love relationship, with leaps and bounds, but also with a lot of affection and learning. What is a love relationship if not the love vs. hate constant?
After ten years of relationship, that smile there (in the photo) is my response to our relationship, the gratitude to it for changing my life for the better!